City Boy Treat

Let's start with the ingredients, shall we? They are quite complicated. You will need marshmallows (America's Favorite, I might add) and bamboo skewers. Oh, I should probably mention that this treat involves two of a boy's best friends: sharp sticks and fire. So, beware.


First, rip open the package of marshmallows. Since you are a boy, totally ignore the neatness factor. Make sure the bag is completely mangled when you are through with it. This shows your manly manliness.

Next, load the marshmallow on the stick. Don't forget to squish as many marshmallows in your palm as is humanly possible. This is actually called "economy of motion," a little time-saving management tool you learn from your father. You wouldn't want to waste time going back and forth into the bag.
Don't forget to play Chubby Bunny while you're at it. That's a game you learn in youth group, or from your goofy mom who was raised by a youth pastor. I know, she's scarred for life, but that's the subject of another post.


Keep loading marshmallows onto the stick. Remember, if two is good, three is better.


Now, fire up the stove, and start roasting. Ignore the drips on the burner cover. That's left over from the hot dog roast your sister just completed. Somebody should tell her to use a bamboo skewer instead of ruining all of Mom's good forks. Think to yourself, "This must be why I'm the favorite child."


Keep "roasting" until your 'mallows catch on fire. This gives you maximum exterior crunch with perfect interior gooeyness. Besides, it's fun to wave around flaming torches inside the house because it alarms your mother so.

Don't bother waiting for anything to cool down. This is no fun. You must eat this confection piping hot straight off the stick. It does require a bit of concentration so as not to burn/poke yourself.

mmmmmmmm....roll your eyes back in your head with satisfaction of the sheer sugary bliss.....


Walk your little brother through all the important steps, thus ushering him into self-sufficiency. Don't forget to warn him of the dangers of flaming sugar and long hair. He is your minion, after all. It would be tragic to lose him this early on. You will need him later when you achieve total world domination.